Tag: San Francisco

When Things Aren’t What You Expect

Sunday was my first Fourth of July in San Francisco. I was pretty damned sure the fireworks were going to be SPECTACULAR. I felt that excitement, like when you’re a kid and you know Independence Day is the one day of the year when your parents suddenly let you play with fire. (Was that just my family?) One of my favorite things to do in the city is escape to this lookout in the Presidio, and I knew that had to be THE spot to watch the fireworks show.

The Presidio is a former military base that has been converted into a little forest oasis with hiking trails and hidden delights around every corner. My first month living in SF I discovered Inspiration Point, a lookout offering an amazing view of the Alcatraz and the Bay. Most days when I go to Starbucks to write, I spend a few minutes at this point first, clearing my mind of the day’s tasks so I can write.

So the eve of the SPECTACULAR fireworks show, I drove up there armed with a blanket – because for some insane reason, it’s cold here in July. I had a prime spot, and for the next couple of hours, I watched cars roll in. I called my sister and my friend, Dawn, bragging about my front row seat for the show. And then I huddled with a load of perfect strangers in the brisk wind – including the prerequisite drunk guys singing God Bless America – and we watched the SPECTACULAR show.

Okay, that’s a huge lie. SPECTACULARLY DISAPPOINTING might be more fitting. The show sucked ass. Seriously. The fireworks shot straight up into the fog, and lit the clouds up like we were in a war zone. After 20 minutes of watching this…

Me: Is it always like this?

Stranger: Yes

Me: It’s kind of anticlimactic.

Stranger: (chuckling) Welcome to 4^th of July in San Francisco!

My cotton-candy dreams had been crushed. I called my sister back to report what a scam the SPECTACULAR show was. She didn’t answer because she was off enjoying a real fireworks show. Jerk.

My writing career so far has been a lot like that. Like a lot of naïve writers, I was sure I would be get an agent and become a SPECTACULAR success in less than five minutes. Now, I want to pat myself on the head and murmur, “Oh, you sweet, dear, stupid thing…” For most writers, getting published is not going to happen like fireworks, or at all. And if you spend too much time congratulating yourself on your front row seat to success, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Cold, bitter, haggard, hungover disappointment.

I’m not saying to skip out on dreaming for big things. Who doesn’t love a great fireworks show? Don’t hang all your emotions on that dream, though, because you may get lost in the fog. It’s too easy to disappear into all the emotionalism that comes with this dream. Too many would-be writers give up their craft in anger. If you come to this dark place, the best thing you can do is write. Get a rejection? Write. Get an agent? Write. Get a hangnail? Clip it, and then write.

And remember, if you are feeling let down, there are a bunch of other writers huddling in the dark with you.

Crowded Rooms and Insecurities

Last night I attended my first writer’s Meetup in San Francisco, along with eight other writers. We met up at the Crossroads Café on for an hour of writing and another hour of  socializing. Everyone I met was very nice, but I was reminded once again of what an introvert I am. I really, really, really hate meeting strangers. When presented with a group of people I don’t know, I literally want to crawl out of my own skin to find the nearest exit. Oddly, most people I meet would never guess this about me. People who know me laugh when I tell them I am a shy person. That’s because I work hard at appearing confident, even when I feel like I’m wearing all my insecurities  in blazing red neon for the world to see.

I’m one of those people who constantly strategizes around my insecurities. I plan ahead so I know what to expect in most situations, and I am a creature of habit once I find my comfort level. Hence, writing at the same Starbucks for over a year. The truth is that being around people exhausts me, but you can only stand so much of your own company before you need to get out and meet some people. Living in a city where I know two people – both co-workers – means I have to push myself to get out there.

I’ve done it before. I used to be one of those people who never spoke in class, even when I knew the answers. When I started the grad program at CSU, Fullerton I made a deal with myself: in every class, I would speak at least once. With practice, it became easier. At the end of three years, I had accomplished a lot that I was proud of. I was President of Acacia (English grad club) my second year of the program and coordinated a graduate student conference. I started the Creative Writing Club and launched the inaugural issue of a literary journal. Of course, I didn’t do this alone. That’s the point. I made friends who helped me to accomplish all of these things.

In know from experience that having friends empowers you to do more, become more. So, here is my new mantra…. I will get out there, despite myself, to find a new adventure in an amazing city that is my new home.

Crowd Writing

I’m a soloist when it comes to writing. It’s not really a group activity for me. Even when it comes to writing copy for work, I need to go off on my own to let the ideas flow. However, I’m in a new city and I want to get out of my apartment and meet some people. What better place to start than meeting other writers?

So, I’ve joined a San Francisco Meetup.com Group called “Shut Up and Write!” A rotating group of hundreds of writers in the Bay Area get together at various cafes for marathon writing sessions. The groups are anywhere from six to twenty writers gathering with laptops and ipods. Every hour or couple of hours they take a short break to socialize, grab a coffee, and share their work. My first meeting is tonight. I’ll let you know how it goes.

August AW Blog Chain

(Note: It’s been several days since my last post. That is due to my move on Saturday from Orange County to San Francisco. I’m all settled in now so my posts are back on track!)

This month, I am participating in the August Blog Chain from the Absolute Write forums. Here is my question from Forbidden Snowflake:

I noticed you’ve got a Novel Soundtrack. How much has music influenced your writing? Do you first chose the songs and then write while listening to them? Or do you put the Soundtrack together later? Also, do you have different playlists for different moods? Does music ever bother you while writing?

Music is a huge influence on my mood while I’m writing and a must. I’d almost venture to say that it is difficult for me to write without music. I wouldn’t say that I necessarily listen to the words while I’m tapping away at the keyboard, but the cadence of the songs playing through my headphones definitely put me in a creative space.

The music I’m listening to tends to change over the course of the writing. For TOUCHED, I started out listening to a lot of Tyrone Wells. I discovered him on Pandora, then saw him in concert at the House of Blues back in January. His voice had a soothing, gorgeous quality that reminded me of my main character, Asher. Eventually, my soundtrack evolved to what you see on my blog. These are the songs I listened to the most, and I’m pleased that a lot of the lyrics actually fit my storyline. The arrangement of songs was definitely done after the story was complete.

The greatest invention I’ve discovered this year is the Genius feature in iTunes. You select a song in your library that fits the mood you’re in, hit the Genius button, and a playlist is created of similar songs from your library. The result is a fluid playlist that changes with my mood. If I’m writing an action scene, I click on a song by Nickelback or Red Hot Chili Peppers and end up with a list of fast-paced songs. If I’m writing a tender scene, I click on Tyrone Wells’s “Sea Breeze” and get a mellow mix of songs. No arranging necessary! I think this – along with the ability to google faces for my characters – is an incredible tool for writers.

Be sure to check out the next blog!

My question for Angyl78: You mention miracles in multiple posts on your blog. What constitutes a miracle to you, and do you plan to factor this into your writing?

The participating blogs in Absolute Write August 2009 Blog Chain are:

Claire Crossdale http://theromanticqueryletter.blogspot.com
razibahmed http://www.blogging37.com/
aimeelaine http://www.aimeelaine.com/
bsolah http://benjaminsolah.com/blog
dnic http://four-lettered-words.blogspot.com/
JamieMT http://thevarietypages.blogspot.com
LiliCray http://mutteringsofascribe.blogspot.com
ealexis http://eviealextheobsessivewriter.blogspot.com/
errantruth http://www.sputnitsa.wordpress.com
Lady Cat http://randomwriterlythoughts.blogspot.com
Proach http://desinfocenter.blogspot.com/
Simran http://dark-horse-adaptations.blogspot.com
lostwanderer5 http://www.lostwanderer5.blogspot.com
Forbidden Snowflake http://www.alleslinks.com
coryleslie http://corrinejackson.wordpress.com/
Angyl78 http://jelyzabeth.wordpress.com/
Bookdragonette http://pannarrans.wordpress.com/
RavenCorinnCarluk http://ravencorinncarluk.blogspot.com

Wanderlust

I am moving to San Francisco in late August. Packing up three bookcases of books and other various possessions to haul them across the state. Again. At least this time I managed to stay put for six years in Orange County. Prior to that, I moved about once every other year. As a singleton, I don’t feel tied to a particular place, though Southern California is where I grew up and where my family lives. While I’ll miss them (and will break my brother’s back by asking him to help me move 30 boxes of aforementioned books), I know I’m doing the right thing by venturing back to the city.

Aside from the fact that I’ll most likely be paying a fortune to live in a shoebox, have nowhere to park my car, and have to walk two blocks to a Laundromat, there’s something about living in a large city that invigorates me. I love the energy, the way everything is open late, how people populate the streets with their bikes, dogs, and parade-of-the-day. I love how people form small groups to combat the anonymity of the city.

This may sound completely prejudiced, but it also seems literature is more alive and present in the cities. In New York City, you get on the subway, and people are reading. They’re in the cafes and at the parks reading. There is a newsstand on every corner, in every underground station, and the bookstores… Eighteen miles of shelves in one building.  I swear, if I’d stayed in New York they would’ve found my dead body rotting on the bottom floor of the Strand bookstore amongst the shelves of reviewer’s copies. I read Jasper Fforde’s LOST IN A GOOD BOOK long before it was released, spelling errors and all. Be still my heart!

When I lived in New York, there were also more free readings and interesting panels on an on-going basis. I started a book club with no shortage of attendees, but in California, I can’t find enough people who’d be willing to drive fifteen minutes to take part. Perhaps it’s the nature of Southern California that everything is sprawling and far away that makes it difficult. Still, I can’t wait to be in the hub of things!