When Good Things Happen
On July 3 I flew off to Italy for my MFA residency and a much needed vacation. One of the lectures I attended while there was by my MFA mentor, Mary Yukari Waters. She spoke about “The Deceptively Simple Question” and challenged us as writers to steer from the obvious to keep our writing fresh and unexpected. The writers who give the readers what they expect are not the ones who will stand out.
I thought about that lecture a lot over the weekend. If one writer were to write about my experience in Italy, they might list the obvious facts. My car broke down on my house sitter while I was away. A centuries-old villa set off my asthma so I was on Prednisone a lot of the trip. I dropped a glass on my foot. I was stung by a bee – twice. I fell on the cobblestones in Rome, bruising my left knee. I tripped on a curb in Florence, deeply bruising my right knee, which caused me to limp the rest of my trip (and still hurts). And a couple days before we left, I got news that my father had passed away.
When you see the facts laid out that way, a reader would conclude that nothing good came of that trip. Even though it was difficult, I’ve forced myself to look beyond the simple answer, to be the writer and the PERSON, who digs deeper. Here’s what I found.
A hundred comforting hugs from new friends who found out what I was going through so far away from home. Two friends who held me in a foreign kitchen when I received news my father had signed a DNR. A roommate and new dear friend who stayed with me when I received news he’d passed before I could say goodbye. A travel agent who did everything in her power to get me to the funeral. Dear, dear classmates who made it their mission to make me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry. A sister who centered me and gave me strength. A brother who walked through some difficult days with me and held my hand at the funeral. Siblings and cousins and an aunt I’d scarcely met who made me laugh and told me stories about my dad. Stepsisters and a stepmother who invited me to share in their grief and be part of their family. Coworkers and colleagues who made sure I could be away without worry. And so many messages of love from friends everywhere, including some very personal messages from those who have lost their own fathers.
By my admittedly bad math, I received a thousand blessings when I look beyond the obvious.
Now I have a favor to ask. I would love it if you would all share something good someone has done for you during a difficult time in your life. It can be anonymous. I just want to read something good for the soul. Think of it as a way to give back to the person who gave to you in your time of need. Has something good come of a bad time in your life? Do you just want to thank someone who was there for you? Do it. Seriously. Life is too short to leave things unsaid.
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15 Responses to "When Good Things Happen"
on July 25, 2011 | to this post
Hugs, lovey. What a beautiful post.
on July 26, 2011 | to this post
Thanks, Steph. I promise we’ll get together soon.
on July 25, 2011 | to this post
So sorry to hear about your father, Cory. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
on July 26, 2011 | to this post
Thanks, krisa. I appreciate it.
on July 25, 2011 | to this post
Thinking of you, babe.
on July 26, 2011 | to this post
Thanks, Kate. I’ll miss you at SCBWI this year!
on July 25, 2011 | to this post
What a wonderful post
Wishing you all the best <3
on July 26, 2011 | to this post
Thanks, Marieke. Back at you.
on July 25, 2011 | to this post
Something good someone has done for me during a difficult time in my life? Too many to name here. But here’s one of my favorites. One time, when I was in a really difficult place, my friend kidnapped me and took me on a late night trip to the arcade at Pier 39. The arcade is no longer there, but I still remember that night well. There’s something about Skee-ball that makes everything better. At least for a little while.
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad, Cory. You’re in my thoughts. <3.
Tamara
on July 26, 2011 | to this post
Skee ball is magical that way. I hope you’re still friends with that person.
on July 25, 2011 | to this post
((hugs)) You’re still very much in my thoughts. I’m so sorry that you had to go through this but am very glad that you had caring people around you.
Hmm. Something good… When I was in my second year of college, I went through a bit of a dark place. My ex-boyfriend and I were still friends and we were both working late one night at school when I just broke down and could not stop crying. Worried about me, he took me home and stayed the night. Absolutely nothing happened. He just stretched out next to me and held my hand until I fell asleep.
on July 26, 2011 | to this post
I love that, Kathleen. Last night I was struck by how people can be so GOOD. If we just give them a chance. Thank you for sharing that.
on July 26, 2011 | to this post
<3 <3 <3
on July 26, 2011 | to this post
<3 you back, Kara
on July 28, 2011 | to this post
Hugs, Cory. I’m so sorry about your dad and what you’ve had to go through, but what a beautiful and uplifting post!
Let’s see, something nice someone did for me during a rough time: When my Memaw died, I had a pretty hard time. My DH, before we were married, wasn’t there when I got the call, but he got back to his house (where I had been waiting) shortly thereafter. I was trying to distract myself by watching Moulin Rouge, a movie that he absolutely hates. Anyway, he just sat there and watched it with me until I was ready to cry, and then he let me cry without saying anything and gave me a big hug. I get embarrassed when I cry in front of people, so for me, this was the biggest, nicest thing he could have done.
You and your family are in my thoughts!