Dear Readers
My plants are dying, and I think they may be reacting to my mood, though my sister says it’s lack of sunlight. But then what does my gardening, green-thumbed sister know? These are my plants after all, not some other person’s who might actually remember to water them on a schedule. I’m raising them in my own neglectful fashion – apparently without sunlight – and if anything is causing them harm, I’m guessing it’s my forlorn, woebegone gazes that are doing them in.
Because I miss the sun as desperately as they do. And I miss my family. And I miss sundresses and flip flops and skin that isn’t pasty hi-I’m-a-Cullen white. [Insert me shaking my fist at the Fog.] I also miss café mochas and Starbucks because I frickin’ heart Starbucks, but every mocha costs like a bazillion points on my new diet, and quite frankly, I am a hater of math, except when I can show off my mad formula skills in Excel. So to sum things up, I’m black-thumbed, pale, and cranky.
I bet you want to come to my house for a LONG visit, don’t you?
Lucky for you, I’m actually a very cheery person when you meet me. I even show teeth when I smile. And it’s easy to know I like you because the slightest laughing fit can induce asthmatic wheezing much like the penguin in Toy Story, and that’s difficult to hide.
Keep your fingers crossed that my plants survive my mochalessness. (That’s a word, right?) Things may get dicey with my landlord if I’m forced to have a flushing funeral for my oregano, and the toilet gets backed up. Again. Oh, Rosemary, I have not forgotten you. Also, wear flip flops for me if you are in warmer weather and wiggle your toes a little while you think of me because that’s not weird at all.
Love,
Me
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6 Responses to "Dear Readers"
on September 30, 2010 | to this post
at least you’re not drinking those awful pumpkin spice things. And come visit the east bay one of these days…we have sun to spare.
on September 30, 2010 | to this post
The East Bay exists? I thought that was a fairy tale. A Grimm one. *snickers*
on September 30, 2010 | to this post
I’m laughing while my central air blows and I think about taking the kids up to the pool and ordering Thai food.
on September 30, 2010 | to this post
I might hear you laughing if the wind wasn’t blowing in my ears and the sirens weren’t wailing and some homeless guy weren’t shrieking about the world coming to an end.
on October 1, 2010 | to this post
Instead of the east bay, you should try visiting me in Manchester, but you may not be able to see me through all the rain. You could definitely wear your flipflops here…in fact it’s a smart thing to do…that way your shoes won’t get so wet they won’t dry, and you’ll only need to dry your feet off! I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to solve your pasty skin problem, though. I’m working on a translucent skin tone myself!
on October 1, 2010 | to this post
LAURA!!! It’s been ages since I saw you around. Are you hiding in the rain? How’s your writing going?