Archive for September, 2010

Dear Readers

My plants are dying, and I think they may be reacting to my mood, though my sister says it’s lack of sunlight. But then what does my gardening, green-thumbed sister know? These are my plants after all, not some other person’s who might actually remember to water them on a schedule. I’m raising them in my own neglectful fashion – apparently without sunlight – and if anything is causing them harm, I’m guessing it’s my forlorn, woebegone gazes that are doing them in.

Because I miss the sun as desperately as they do. And I miss my family. And I miss sundresses and flip flops and skin that isn’t pasty hi-I’m-a-Cullen white. [Insert me shaking my fist at the Fog.] I also miss café mochas and Starbucks because I frickin’ heart Starbucks, but every mocha costs like a bazillion points on my new diet, and quite frankly, I am a hater of math, except when I can show off my mad formula skills in Excel. So to sum things up, I’m black-thumbed, pale, and cranky.

I bet you want to come to my house for a LONG visit, don’t you?

Lucky for you, I’m actually a very cheery person when you meet me. I even show teeth when I smile. And it’s easy to know I like you because the slightest laughing fit can induce asthmatic wheezing much like the penguin in Toy Story, and that’s difficult to hide.

Keep your fingers crossed that my plants survive my mochalessness. (That’s a word, right?) Things may get dicey with my landlord if I’m forced to have a flushing funeral for my oregano, and the toilet gets backed up. Again. Oh, Rosemary, I have not forgotten you. Also, wear flip flops for me if you are in warmer weather and wiggle your toes a little while you think of me because that’s not weird at all.

Love,

Me

Emotional Arc

Whether you’re writing a literary novel or a plot-driven novel, your characters need to experience some kind of growth or change. This growth – as in real life – rarely happens all of a sudden. Try it and your beta readers will leave comments like “I don’t feel this moment was earned” or “This doesn’t ring true.” The emotional journey of your characters is the backbone of any good story. So how do you plan for it?

When I am plotting out my story, I use a three-act structure. This site has a good breakdown of what a story arc looks like. Essentially, Act One is where you introduce your characters and setting. Then something happens – the conflict – that shifts your story into Act Two. This is the meat of your story when roadblocks are tossed at your character, and they must use their problem-solving skills to work around them. The tension builds throughout this section until you reach the Black Moment. This is the darkest moment in the story when your MC is not sure how they will resolve the conflict. The Black Moment is your climax and shifts you into Act Three where the conflict comes to some type of resolution.

This is a simplified explanation of the three-act structure, but I hope you get the gist. In addition to using this structure to outline my plot, I also use this structure to determine the emotional arc of my characters.

* An exception would be if you are trying to show the character spiraling out of control, but then you would need to have spent time establishing how “out of character” they are acting for the contrast to be successful.

**Note: I didn’t say happy ending. I’m okay with an ending that isn’t tied up with a neat ribbon BUT I want to feel that my character has grown. Personally I can’t stand reading a book only to find the character hasn’t changed one iota when confronted with problem after problem. That works for minor characters, but not MCs in my opinion.

I also want to point out that sometimes a story begins with the conflict – in fact, many of the best stories do. When this happens, the details of Act One are filled in through back story.

I hope this helps!

I’m Still Here!

The posts have been sparing this week. BUT I am working hard. Writing and working on some changes to my website. Oh, no. I’m not going to tell you what they are. Just know that the changes are taking a lot of work – my head hurts from tweaking php scripts – but I hope to be able to launch them next week. In the meantime, please bear with me.

SYTYCW: Round 5 – Vote for #6!

Bria Quinlan at Luv Ya is running an amazing contest ala So You Think You Can Dance, except this contest has a writing twist. I have made it all the way to Round 5. I’d love to make it to the next round, so please vote for me – I’m entry #6 this week! If I make it to the final round, I will give away a five-chapter beta crit to one lucky winner.

Vote here.

A Peek at the Future

Certain readers have the ability to crush your ability to type another word. In the past, my sister has been that reader. This is why she didn’t get to read Touched until months after it was complete. See that story here. See, she is my best friend. A beta reader tells me this character needs some work, and I take it with a grain of salt and get down to the business of editing. My sister tells me this, and I’m ready to kill off the character completely.

Now I’m working on Interior of a Heart, and I believe this novel has something. Most days. And my sister asked to read it, and I immediately began whipping out excuses to explain why it wasn’t ready, and she said, “Oh, we’re going to go through that again?” and I thought “Maybe, soul-crusher” because I hate to get called on my crap. And then I felt guilty because she has been extremely supportive.

So I caved and sent the first part of the manuscript to her last week. I made her swear in blood and spit to only offer praise or questions, but no criticisms because this is a first draft and what kind of sister criticizes a first draft – I’ll tell you, a monster, that’s who.

Then, on Friday my sister and her husband drove from LA to San Francisco to visit me for the weekend. On the way, she read my wip out loud to my brother-in-law. When they arrived here, we spent two hours discussing my book. Mostly, I just sat back and listened to them debate the themes and the way the story would end. They passionately discussed my characters as if they were real people, ones who my family had a vested interest in. How amazing it was to see something I created – characters I pulled out of my head – talked about like this! To hear certain lines repeated because they loved them and were touched by them.

They gave me a wonderful gift – the gift of a peek into the future when readers will buy my book and perhaps discuss it in the same way. Man, that future is exciting and scary and wonderful. I can’t wait for it to get here!

Battle of the Betas

We have a new guinea pig…This week Alicia Gregoire volunteered to have eight writers beta read a single page of her urban fantasy “Phoenix Rising” so readers can compare and contrast beta styles. Below is her text with my line edits inserted in brackets and italics. I also included summary notes at the bottom as I normally would with a beta. As last time, my notes are a little lengthier than they would normally be for a single page, but the idea was to let you see my beta style.

And onward!

20 Years Ago

[Is this a prologue?]

Ianos studied the chimera pride that roamed the foothills outside Timmons for months in search of the runt.

[Cool name. Also on first read, I thought the pride was searching for the runt and not Ianos.]

With a pair of large males and several females, it took him longer than he wanted,

[Took him longer than he wanted to what? Study the pride? Find the runt? Could be more clear.]

but once discovered, he kept his eye on it. In a final attempt of

[at]

self-preservation, they abandoned it weeks ago. Each day it grew weaker,

[I know the “it” is the runt and the “they” is the pride, but I think you could make this more clear by actually calling out the subject instead of using the pronoun.]

languishing without the companionship of the pride.

[If the pride abandoned the runt weeks ago and it is languishing without companionship, how is he having trouble spotting it amongst them?]

On the fourteenth day, Ianos executed his oh so easy plan.

Armed with nothing other than his knowledge of spells, he made his final trek to the foothills. He was much closer than he’d been in his previous visits to the chimera grounds and

[insert “had” after “and”]

never seen anything like the beast before. It

[The runt]

lay in the sun, with only one head awake, but not alert. The lion head mewled, mourning its fate. Its paper lantern thin wings stretched on the ground while the dragon and goat heads slept.

It was awing.

[awe inspiring?]

The lion head despondently watched Ianos’ approach but roared to awaken the other two heads when Ianos crossed some unknown border. The beast rose to its full height, stretched its wings wide, and bellowed—all three heads created a cacophony of rage.

[what does this cacophony sound like? I’m trying to imagine a lion, dragon and goat roaring at the same time.]

Ianos snarled and crouched, ready to strike. Electricity spurted from his palms towards the chimera. It dodged at the last second and ran head-on towards the sorcerer. He ran into a cave to his right; he’d have better luck surviving the fight if he was able to corner the animal. The beast skidded, turned, and charged again. Ianos leapt onto its back. He held tightly onto the lion’s neck scruff and struggled to pull a lasso out of his jeans.

[Interesting combination of the mythology and the revelation Ianos is a sorcerer in juxtaposition with his jeans and lasso.]

Thanks for sharing this piece, Alicia! I included notes in the text, but here are some gut reactions overall.

Mythology: If I recall right, Homer described a chimera as having a lion’s head, snake for a tail, and a goat somewhere on the body. Your chimera sounds very different which is 100% cool. I think it’s awesome to describe it differently, but the key is to describe it in more detail so I understand how your chimera differs from the current mythology. I really want to understand what this creature looks like, how the muscles ripple under its fur or scales, how it moves with all these various heads,

Pronouns: There is some confusion happening with the pronouns. I kept having to reread a sentence to figure out who the “they” and “it” were. This is easily fixed by working in the subject more often in place of the pronouns.

Imagery: This page relies heavily on sight. I think this could be so much more powerful if the other senses were engaged. Is it hot? How does the sun feel on Ianos’ skin? How does the lion’s scruff feel to the touch? Is there a sulfur smell since this creature breathes fire? And what does this creature sound like – cacophony is not descriptive of this particular creature?

I think you have a good start. I’d love to see more detail throughout this to really establish your world and ground me in your particular setting. Thanks again!

Check out what the other beta readers had to say!

Kate Hart
Meredith Primeau
Windy Aphayrath
Sarah Enni
Raven Ashley

Quicksand, and Comparing Yourself to Others

Whatever stage you are at in your career, you will at some point fall into the vicious trap of comparing yourself to others. This person got a bigger, better deal. That person got a ton of offers. And that person over there? Her words are spun gold while yours are cheap pyrite. This type of thinking is quicksand, soul-sucking quicksand that swallows you whole if you’re not careful. Here are some tips to avoid this trap.

1. Acknowledge your jealousy. Don’t let it eat you alive. When you are green with envy, it can come out in ugly, passive aggressive ways that are NOT attractive. See every Disney villain. Understand why you are jealous, sit in it for a couple of minutes, and then get out of the Jealousy Jacuzzi before you catch something.
2. Look at the whole person. That agented/on sub/most excellent author you compare yourself to? They have problems and Louis Vuitton baggage they lug around just like you. Nobody’s life is perfect. They may seem like they have exactly what you want, but maybe they kick puppies and are mean to small children in their spare time. Do you want to give up who you are to be like them? Think about your answer. If it’s yes, you may or may not need therapy. No judgment here.
3. Show yourself a little compassion. It’s hard to be denied the thing you want most in the world. Ask any kid you see melt down at ToyRUs. It’s okay to be disappointed and angry and jealous. It’s not okay to let these emotions overwhelm you and shape who you are. Be kind to yourself, vent to a close friend, and wallow in some ice cream. And then put your focus where it needs to be – your work.
4. Everyone’s journey is different. The person you compare yourself to may be on the fast track while you are the turtle, slowly plodding along. We all know how that fable ended, right? Seriously, focus on your path. Are you growing as a writer? Are you doing everything you possibly can to be better? How can you forge ahead if you’re always looking to the left or the right?

Anyone have any other tips?

Teaser Tuesday

Another snip from my current WIP, Interior of a Heart, a YA literary novel about a girl treated as an outcast in her town when she keeps a secret for her boyfriend, a soldier fighting in Afghanistan. George is an old vet Sophie has become friends with after her father forces her to volunteer at the VA Hospital.

*Removed snip*

Flipped Friday: Heath

What is it? Writers aspire to describe things in ways that give readers  an Aha! moment  - a new phrase or word that flips our expectations and makes us go, “Yes, that’s exactly what an orange looks, tastes, feels, smells like.” Post pictures, text, video (or whatever) of a person, place, or thing to help us look at it in a new way.

Today: Heath

What is a heath? The definition: a tract of open and uncultivated land; wasteland overgrown with shrubs. (Dictionary.com)

I’ve read about heaths in books all my life, from The Secret Garden to Wuthering Heights. As a Southern California girl, heaths lived only in my imagination. Then I had the chance to go to England and visited an actual heath where our tour group climbed a turnstile, stood in a heath while a light wind blew about, and listened to a man with a lovely accent read Thomas Hardy. And though, I expected the heath to be wild, I suddenly understand the untamed beauty that appealed to so many authors.

All pictures were taken by me.

From The Secret Garden: the Musical – Song “House Upon the Hill”:

MARY: Is it always so ugly here?
MRS. MEDLOCK: It’s the moor. Miles and miles of wild land that nothing grows on but heather and gorse and broom, and nothing lives on but wild ponies and sheep.
MARY: What is that awful howling sound?
MRS. MEDLOCK: That’s the wind blowing through the bushes they call it wuthering that sound…

From The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett:

Nor it isn’t fields nor mountains, it’s just miles and miles and miles of wild land that nothing grows on but heather and gorse and broom, and nothing lives on but wild ponies and sheep.

From Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte:

Beside the crag the heath was very deep: when I lay down my feet were buried in it; rising high on each side, it left only a narrow space for the night-air to invade.

From Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte:

It was dug on a green slope in a corner of the kirk-yard, where the wall is so low that heath and bilberry-plants have climbed over it from the moor; and peat-mould almost buries it.

From Tess of the d’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy:

Thence she started on foot, basket in hand, to reach the wide upland of heath dividing this district from the low-lying meads of a further valley in which the dairy stood that was the aim and end of her day’s pilgrimage.

Literary San Francisco

Three big events are coming to San Francisco that authors and readers alike will want to know about.

1. The Big Book Sale (September 22-26; Fort Mason Festival Pavilion): The Friends of the San Francisco Public Library are putting on the 46th Annual Big Book Sale. Half a million books, DVDs, CDs, books on tape, vinyl and other forms of media.  All books are $5 or less and all books remaining on Sunday are $1 or less. The Big Book Sale is free and open to the public and all proceeds benefit the San Francisco Public Library. More details here.

2. One City One Book 2010 (September – October): San Francisco joins in the One City One Book program. This year, the book is Dave Eggers’ Zeitoun. Find out how you can join the city-wide book club. More details here.

3. LitQuake (October 1-9; All Over San Francisco): San Francisco’s annual literary festival enters its 11th year with over 400 authors participating in a week of literary events that end in a massive lit crawl – a literary pub crawl through the Mission District. Lots of teen events, too. More details here.

Hope to see you there!