Toughen Up?
In the last couple of weeks, agents and writers have been buzzing about the practice of a few agents and interns who critique queries via Twitter and the web. Some sites – like Query Shark – require writers to volunteer their work for review. I think these sites can be extremely helpful, especially for those who learn by example. Others are not voluntary. Any writer who submits to the – sometimes anonymous – agent or interns running these sites or hashtags could see their query pop up for critique and ridicule. While the agent/intern may intend to be helpful to writers, too often the tone of these query critiques can turn to ridicule. Regardless, I’ve seen many writers defending this practice, and the main defense has been that querying writers need to “toughen up.”
This “toughen up” philosophy makes me cringe every time I read it, especially coming from other writers. This business of writing is so difficult. Forget the actual work that goes into writing a book, and the heartache that goes into editing it. Forget how painful it can be to get your first and fifteenth beta critiques. Completely disregard how mysterious and difficult it is to hammer out that first query letter.
What about sending that query letter out and getting umpteen rejections from agents? Say you actually get an agent and you go on sub. Now you are in for a series of rejections from editors. Okay, you finally get an editor who loves it, and your book is published. Now, you get a bunch of book reviewers shredding your work.
Of course writers have to toughen up, but that happens naturally – trial by fire, if you will. My own skin has toughened – how can it not? BUT I don’t understand why we are so quick to throw other writers and their work under the bus – whether for our desire to learn or for pure entertainment – and justify it by saying writers need to toughen up or not be so precious about their work. The inference is that we’re helping this writer by tearing down their work in a public forum. Seriously? It sounds more like natural selection – only the thick-skinned writers will survive to the next round of horror. WTH?
Isn’t this business hard enough to navigate without criticizing people who dare to TRY? Why is it okay to learn at the expense of others? And how arrogant is it for us to decide when others should “toughen up” on their individual journey’s?
*steps away from soapbox*
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8 Responses to "Toughen Up?"
on August 31, 2010 | to this post
I absolutely agree- We should be here to support each other in this business. It IS a business, and a business requires a tough suit, but it also requires positive attitudes and team work. If we’re going to go so far as criticize and critique each other, it should always be as constructive as it is honest. “You don’t always have to chop with the sword of truth. You can point with it, too.” – Anne Lamott
I think these sites like Query Shark are helpful, but some can go a bit far. Very thoughtful post.
on August 31, 2010 | to this post
I love you, Cory. I completely agree. Honest to God, some of the comments made in these forums are downright disgusting. They insult the writer’s intelligence, make nasty accusations, and make fun of their writing ability. In other words, it’s completely unhelpful, and a lot of the times, it doesn’t have anything to do with the query. They may think it’s helpful, but frankly, I just think it’s sad. When you have to tear someone down and then put it under the illusion of helping them, you’re not only coming off as insecure, but you’re also coming off as a coward. Just because you’re critiquing someone’s work, it doesn’t mean you have to disrespect them.
Thank you so much for writing this post! I hope people take what you’ve said into account, and think about how they’re coming off and what they’re saying when they’re critiquing someone’s work.
on August 31, 2010 | to this post
*nods in agreement*
Even though I don’t query and I haven’t had a taste of the publishing world, from a reader and writer’s standpoint, I don’t condone tearing down other people’s work. I am a firm believer in the saying “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it all.”
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but if your opinion can’t be voiced in a positive manner, maybe you should keep it to yourself.
And I could only imagine what it’s like to be rejected time after time after time by agents, only to become agented, and be rejected by editors.
Of course you have to go into this business with a hard hat and full-body armor, but sometimes even the littlest negative comment can hurt you, because writing a book is hard, and it seems like even after you are published, you’re still on a journey, you’re not in the clear.
So toughen up? No, how about learn from each negative you encounter, and try to turn it into something positive. You don’t have to be tough to do that.
on August 31, 2010 | to this post
Great post. I agree with you COMPLETELY. I loved Jennifer Laughran’s take on this issue as well.
on August 31, 2010 | to this post
Thanks for the great comments, everyone! This was a tough post to write – I kept wondering if I was shooting myself in the foot – but I felt like I had to say something.
on August 31, 2010 | to this post
Love the post, Cory!
on September 1, 2010 | to this post
I am so in your camp on this, Corrine! In fact, I think it’s practically impossible for people to learn whatever they need to learn from critiques when it’s delivered with a smackdown. It’s human nature to attend to our wounds first, and learn second. It’s a lot more difficult to deliver honest critique with love, but everyone is better for it.
on September 2, 2010 | to this post
If an agent decides to flay my query, I’d be honored. Ha, ha. Just kidding. Well, a little true. At least I got their attention
.
Seriously, some of these blogs don’t ring true. Maybe they just make it up. I don’t have a lot of time to read these blogs. There’s enough that build up rather than tear down.