Dinner with the Fam in 20 Stages

1. Plan trip to LA for SCBWI conference. Believe I will have loads of time to see family. Ask Sister and Brother #1 in separate conversations to meet for dinner.
2. Panic when realizing I only have one night free. What to do? Well, I guess we could have dinner together. That wouldn’t be weird, right?
3. Brother #1 and Sister are on board. Sounds like fun. Yay!
4. Whoops! You can’t NOT invite Brother #2. His feelings would be hurt if he hears about all the fun had by the rest of us. Immediately call Brother #2 to rectify mistake. He lives three hours away and will not come, but it’s the thought that counts.
5. Brother #2 shocks you by immediately agreeing. Ok, wow. The four of us are going to dinner. No spouses. No kids.
6. Day before Dinner: Sister and Brother #2 are at baby shower with the Mother Figure. Her feelings are hurt a wee bit that we didn’t invite her. (Geez, Mom, we’re flying by the seat of our pants here. Besides, you don’t like driving to LA. Or visiting.)
7. Crisis avoided when Sister and Brother #2 tell Mother Figure she wasn’t invited because we are deciding what home to put her in. She is bitter but resigned. Tells Brother #2 she hopes we all get diarrhea. Nice, Mom.
8. Day of Dinner: Brother #1 drives three hours  to meet up at Sister’s house. Everyone is shockingly pleasant.
9. Mother Figure calls Sister and hangs up.
10. Mother Figure calls Brother #2. He warns her the quality of the home we put her in is going down. She hangs up.
11. Siblings eye each other. *snickers*
12. Brother #1 finally arrives after three hours in traffic. Pile into Sister’s SUV to go to dinner at the Elephant Bar.
13. While waiting for a table, Mother Figure calls Brother #1. He is confused by her snarky comments, but bravely listens when we tell him to hang up on her.
14. More *snickers*
15. Brother #1 calls Mother Figure and asks if she’s ready to “act like an adult.” She tells him she’s not going to a home and we’re not taking her driver’s license either. Hangs up.
16. Seriously, my stomach hurts from laughing. *puffs on asthma inhaler*
17. Finally get a table and our food. Never a dull moment in the conversation. Funny enough, the boys dominate the conversations. When did they turn into such talkers who bare their souls to their sisters? *warm fuzzies*
18. Brother #1  looks around table and asks, “When was the last time that just the four of us went out together?”
19. Pause. Sad to realize the answer is NEVER. Promises all around to make a better effort.
20. Mother Figure sends text with this picture.  First response: shock she knows how to text a picture. Second response: *snickers*. Third response: Smiles when we realize Mother Figure managed to invite herself to dinner anyway.

I guess by now you’ve figured out that my family shows love with sarcasm and hang ups. What others consider mean, we consider a valentine. Honestly, this was the most fun we’ve all had together in pretty much…ever.